3100 East Colfax
Le Denver, CO 802somethingorother
So I have been thinking, and yes, talking (I would like to say attempting to have an open discussion with my fellow man) about the impending or maybe not impending just the possibility of an apocalypse. I don't know what it is exactly that has prompted this train of thought, maybe it's all the fun rapture talk, or the fact that The Road has been burned into my brain, but once that faucet turns on, there is no shut off. Much to the chagrin of all who know me, I am tunneled. The good news, is that I have options. What concerns me, is that my dog and I are not quite at the ready, should America become engulfed in flames tomorrow. This little light of mine, has her own water glass on my bedside table, should she find herself parched in the middle of the night and wakes up every morning to the words you are so pretty. That doesn't bode well for dodging cannibals. I feel like we need some kind of apocalyptic training course, like a militia camp maybe or at least some basic cannibal dos and do nots. If you know of anything, please comment - and no, laser tag is not an option. I'm not renting out the whole goddamn compound. I need some training on the cheap and off the grid.
Anywhoo, what does this have to do with the lovely Annie's Cafe? Well, this place is supposed to be a staple of breakfast dining in the Denver, however, I went there last weekend at 10:30 in the am and it was practically empty. And I think this might have been what prompted all this isolated apocalypto business. Maybe the place cleaned out because the most annoying people in America had chosen this day to grace Annie's with their presence. Luckily, we were seated next to them and had the pleasure of listening to the most inane conversations I have ever heard. They were seriously out of control, asking our waitress where she was from, and were shocked by her response.....Denver. What they said? That is unpossible? I thought you were from Georgia, said one girl. Well than you are even more of a fucking idiot than we thought you were. This other guys follows with, we ALWAYS ask our.....pause.......pause........pause........wai, uh servers where they are from. Do you? Well that makes you so interesting. You seem like someone I would love to get to know. What other exotic restaurants do you haunt? Denver Diner? I bet you would be shocked to know that your career waitress at that establishment also hails from Denver, or maybe the tropics of Aurora.
NOTE TO STUPID PEOPLE, if your waitress is over 50 and she works in a Diner, she is NOT traveling the world, living in hostels and soaking up the local culture. She is trying to earn a wage in order to compensate for the child support her deadbeat ex-husband refuses to pay her even though she gave him the best 30 years of her life.
So there, I still haven't even told you about the food. I might be stalling. I think we all know, as I have mentioned before, that my body is my temple. And as such, I only fill it with the highest quality ingredients. So what did I eat? Chicken Fried Steak and eggs with gravy. So refreshing on a hot summer morn. It was definitely what I needed in order to shut out those idiots sitting next to me. And at least I know where to go when I need me some decent country cookin. Yes, CityGrille has an excellent chicken fried steak, but that place is kind of depressing and feels real Regal Beagley which is not the vibe I am looking for first thing in the morning. (Don't get me wrong, CityGrille is fantastic and I have been in an epic 8 year debate of which I will go into further detail at a later date when I finish my dissertation on why the best burger in the Denver is from the Cherry Cricket. A friend of mine with an equally discernible palette says I am dead wrong and that the only burger is the CityGrille Burger. Maybe we should all get together and go all pepsi challenge on this shit and see who comes out on top. We don't need to. I will set America straight on this subject.)
So, I guess the moral of the story is that if you can stomach the most annoying people on the planet and some chicken fried steak at 10:30 in the morning you should check out Annie's.
I better motor if I'm going to mow my lawn in time to make it to La pesca de cumplidos party this afternoon. Happy HolyDays America, you lovable curmudgeon.
