6439 East Hampden Avenue Denver, CO 80222
So yesterday evening this pain in the ass old broad and I got into an argument over which was better, The New York Deli News or The Bagel Deli. This argument stems from her being given a choice where we would dine for her farewell lunch. She is retiring HOORAY and not dying, this isn't Soylent Green asshole. She said her options were LePeep, New York Deli News and the Denver Country Club. Sidenote, this fight lasted way longer than the old lady could stomach which meant I won AGAIN even though nothing was really resolved, but I will miss her staunch negativity.
Anyway, so first I said to her - LOOK LADY are you fucking kidding me? You dare put LefuckingPeep (a crapfest) and New York Deli News(mid range at best) in the same category as the glorious and fabulous Denver Country Club? Some day, I may write a comparison of the country clubs of this city (which I do not hang out in - I just sometimes eat there for " personal business" reasons) but it sounds real - WELL LA DI DA of me and I certainly do not want to come across as pompous. Well, frankly I don't give a fuck what you think because this is a RAGE blog that channels my anger through my love for good eatin, much like The Fonz made birdhouses out of popsicle sticks to temper his temper.
Anyway, how is this about Bagel Deli you ask?
So, I am bullying an old woman into going where I would prefer we eat her final meal (we can only hope) when I say - by the way - you just went to New York Deli News last week, wouldn't you rather go to Bagel Deli instead? It is better and basically right next door. Well you would have thought that I shit on Elvis Presley's face (oh, she is the head of the local fan club) and she said OOOOOOOH NO it isn't. I said, have you ever been there? And she said, No, why? I think that explains why I have secretly and by secretly I mean very publicly hated her for the last 5 years.
So, this morning I went to Bagel Deli out of spite - because I am no better than she, worse in fact, as we are supposed to respect our elders.
I love Bagel Deli. I wrote a review of it in 2008 (because I have been trying to channel this rage for many years) http://mallorypicks.blogspot.com/2009/03/bagel-delicatessen-hopefully-where-i.html and I think that review is even worse than this one because it is overly peppered with the word anus. Anyway again, Bagel deli really is that incredible. So much so, or not so, that it was featured on Diners, Drive ins and Dives, which I know because they have every possible poster and advertisement for it plastered all over their restaurant and I am so sick of looking at that Guy's face which is the one draw back to Bagel Deli, having to look at that unpunk's face.
So this morning, I picked up a bagel with glorious lox and showed it to ole whatserface and I said, look you lazy bag of bones, the Bagel Deli is far superior and you can watch me eat if you disagree. Needless to say, she shut her trap up real good. Another win por moi.
Moral of the story - this place has the best pastrami in Colorado so go there.
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