Beatrice and Woodsley
38 South Broadway
Denver, CO 80209
http://www.beatriceandwoodsley.com/
Hey Gurl.
Are you interested in some full-on lady dining?
How about an unnecessarily romantic dinner, possibly with someone you prefer not to be romantic with?
Well if you answered yes to either question, Beatrice and Woodsley is for you, gurl. Talk about glamorously and romantically radochic. Aspen trees and distressed horizontal wood panelling everywhere say hey, please dine comfortably in my romantic bosom. While much more successful in appearance than the Olive Garden, Beatrice and Woodsley wants to fool you into believing you are eating outside. If you are dining with one other person, no matter who it is, be prepared for romance. The tables for two are annoyingly set for sexy dining. I learned this when my mother came to visit a few years ago. This experience, while turning out to be quite lovely, was only slightly less awkward than the time me moms and I were booked in the honeymoon suite at some B & B in England's countryside. We had to request that someone split the twin beds that had been pushed together for lovemaking king. Super gross.
Do I sound complainy? Because that is not the direction I wanted to go. I do like the food. Yes, there was a time when I loved it. I had pork belly a few years ago and it was the most wonderful piece of fattie fuck yeah I had eaten in a long time. However, I went there for a lady brunch very recently and I will say I was minimally disappointed with a few things. For one, I ordered the jalapeño grits brulee because it sounds amazing doesn't it? The only way that one could possibly improve grits is by bruleeing them am I right? Well, the crispy layer was nice enough, but the grits were disappointing. Throwing in a chopped jalapeño to a lumpy bland bowl of grits does not a fancy dining experience make.
(Side note If anyone knows where a girl can find some decent grits in this town please let me know. I have had it up to my eyeballs with shitty grits and shitty biscuits and gravy in the Denver. I did have biscuits and lamb gravy once at Table 6 and I am salivating at the memory - but I want to find some gorgeous classic biscuits and gravy. Some asshole at Pete's Kitchen (which will appear on my list of most horrible restaurants in the city of Denver - so why do people keep telling me how good it is....along with Vesta Dipping Grill) once gave me biscuits and gravy made with ham gravy. Have you ever in all your life heard of anything so incredibly tragic? Well, I never. How dreadful. My brain has been stained with this memory I cannot shake.
Back to B&W, I hate to say, that I was also a little disappointed in my sausage. It was chewy, maybe it was overcooked or too gamey or maybe this whole organic thing isn't working out for them, but I don't think they understand how much effort goes into my Sophie's choice of sausage or bacon for my Sunday morning breakfast. The entire meal is based on my preference at that particular moment and I worry about my decision as I wait for my food and thus its success is often dependent on whether or not it satisfies the way I had hoped when I came to the conclusion in the first place. So while everyone else is discussing the lady goings on of the week - I am sweating bullets wondering if I made the right decision. As it turns out I would have been much happier with the open faced Kentucky Hot Brown, which I knew would be good but did not order, regretfully, because I was powerless over my desire for sausage in that one moment when asked - and what would you like ma'am? In conclusion, I spent the entire meal seething at the site of the Kentucky Hot Brown down the table from me.
Please do not misinterpret my above digression into bitchiness with anything other than the fact that, having been to such a delightful place on several occasions previous to this I expected something close to perfection. As I mentioned earlier, I was there with several ladies, to celebrate a lady at a lady brunch. I wanted our celebrated lady to love it and I am pretty sure that she did enjoy her lyonnaise pain perdue. The other ladies I brunched with also seemed to love their food which made me happy. Everything on my plate, aside from the sausage was great, but I put all of my hopes and dreams in that sausage and so I felt just a little violated.
Finally, let's talk quickly about the lady cocktails. They are elegant, ladylike and pretty fucking delicious make for a very pleasant and crunk-ass morning. They have lovely lady ingredients like lavendar, peaches and sparkles. I love being a lady for the lavendar and the sparkles. So thank you sweet Beatrice and Woodsley for living up to the ladiness of it all.
So to make a long story long. This place is quite nice and would very much suffice. However don't go there if you hate ladies and romance.
Denver, CO 80209
http://www.beatriceandwoodsley.com/
Hey Gurl.
Are you interested in some full-on lady dining?
How about an unnecessarily romantic dinner, possibly with someone you prefer not to be romantic with?
Well if you answered yes to either question, Beatrice and Woodsley is for you, gurl. Talk about glamorously and romantically radochic. Aspen trees and distressed horizontal wood panelling everywhere say hey, please dine comfortably in my romantic bosom. While much more successful in appearance than the Olive Garden, Beatrice and Woodsley wants to fool you into believing you are eating outside. If you are dining with one other person, no matter who it is, be prepared for romance. The tables for two are annoyingly set for sexy dining. I learned this when my mother came to visit a few years ago. This experience, while turning out to be quite lovely, was only slightly less awkward than the time me moms and I were booked in the honeymoon suite at some B & B in England's countryside. We had to request that someone split the twin beds that had been pushed together for lovemaking king. Super gross.
Do I sound complainy? Because that is not the direction I wanted to go. I do like the food. Yes, there was a time when I loved it. I had pork belly a few years ago and it was the most wonderful piece of fattie fuck yeah I had eaten in a long time. However, I went there for a lady brunch very recently and I will say I was minimally disappointed with a few things. For one, I ordered the jalapeño grits brulee because it sounds amazing doesn't it? The only way that one could possibly improve grits is by bruleeing them am I right? Well, the crispy layer was nice enough, but the grits were disappointing. Throwing in a chopped jalapeño to a lumpy bland bowl of grits does not a fancy dining experience make.
(Side note If anyone knows where a girl can find some decent grits in this town please let me know. I have had it up to my eyeballs with shitty grits and shitty biscuits and gravy in the Denver. I did have biscuits and lamb gravy once at Table 6 and I am salivating at the memory - but I want to find some gorgeous classic biscuits and gravy. Some asshole at Pete's Kitchen (which will appear on my list of most horrible restaurants in the city of Denver - so why do people keep telling me how good it is....along with Vesta Dipping Grill) once gave me biscuits and gravy made with ham gravy. Have you ever in all your life heard of anything so incredibly tragic? Well, I never. How dreadful. My brain has been stained with this memory I cannot shake.
Back to B&W, I hate to say, that I was also a little disappointed in my sausage. It was chewy, maybe it was overcooked or too gamey or maybe this whole organic thing isn't working out for them, but I don't think they understand how much effort goes into my Sophie's choice of sausage or bacon for my Sunday morning breakfast. The entire meal is based on my preference at that particular moment and I worry about my decision as I wait for my food and thus its success is often dependent on whether or not it satisfies the way I had hoped when I came to the conclusion in the first place. So while everyone else is discussing the lady goings on of the week - I am sweating bullets wondering if I made the right decision. As it turns out I would have been much happier with the open faced Kentucky Hot Brown, which I knew would be good but did not order, regretfully, because I was powerless over my desire for sausage in that one moment when asked - and what would you like ma'am? In conclusion, I spent the entire meal seething at the site of the Kentucky Hot Brown down the table from me.
Please do not misinterpret my above digression into bitchiness with anything other than the fact that, having been to such a delightful place on several occasions previous to this I expected something close to perfection. As I mentioned earlier, I was there with several ladies, to celebrate a lady at a lady brunch. I wanted our celebrated lady to love it and I am pretty sure that she did enjoy her lyonnaise pain perdue. The other ladies I brunched with also seemed to love their food which made me happy. Everything on my plate, aside from the sausage was great, but I put all of my hopes and dreams in that sausage and so I felt just a little violated.
Finally, let's talk quickly about the lady cocktails. They are elegant, ladylike and pretty fucking delicious make for a very pleasant and crunk-ass morning. They have lovely lady ingredients like lavendar, peaches and sparkles. I love being a lady for the lavendar and the sparkles. So thank you sweet Beatrice and Woodsley for living up to the ladiness of it all.
So to make a long story long. This place is quite nice and would very much suffice. However don't go there if you hate ladies and romance.
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