2239 W. 30th Avenue Denver, CO 80211
Dear Z Cuisine, I love you. I don't care what anyone says, you are prettiest. You are also the most smartest and the best damn tapper.
The food is perfect. I say this, not because I love superlatives, which I do, but because it is true. Any person who disagrees with me needs to be shot, with a bite of their foie gras, which tastes as described, like butter. It is so fucking amazing. My tongue is totally boning as I think about what glory touched my lips on my last visit. I had some beef bourguignony number (Hachis Parmentier de Boeuf Bourguignon to be exact - ~ Colorado grass fed beef flat iron marinated and slow baked in a roasted spices, merlot wine, roasted beef marrow & oxtail broth slow braised with root vegetables on a bed of onions and topped with yukon gold pommes purée & aged parmesan cheese served with a salade vinaigrette). Basically - it is the best Shepard's pie you will ever eat. Also it is marinated for 4 days. My waiter indulged or the opposite of indulged - because it was pretty boring and I zoned out most of it - but he gave me an incredibly detailed description of enitre process and I remember the 4 days part. A few years ago, I had this lamb nicoise salad that I would have made love to if legal. That sounds weird but that is how unbelievably pure and simple and elegant this dish was - and I am not a fan of salads because they are too busy filling me up with lame lettuce, but I remember the waiter mentioning the delicacy to which the lamb was cooked and I was sold. I always feel like an anus when I eat there because I spend so much time moaning, and saying shit like oooooooh myyyyyyyy gaaaaaawd you have to try this. Like I am drunk with lust for the food so much so that I lose all dignity, not that I was loaded to begin with but in retrospect, I am always embarrassed because I basically belt out eternally:
"where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes!"
This place epitomizes romance and not in the "I am feeling romantic for sexy time" but in the "life is full of romance" and "everything is glamorous". Plus there was some incredibly freaky and wonderful old timey movie with a lot of dancing and a midget dressed up as a baby - tap dancing - so the infotainment is also exquisite. Why do the french enjoy dressing up like babies?
Anyway, if you want to have the greatest experience of your life. Go there. If you hate happiness and joy then don't go and I will look forward to never seeing you.
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