1431 Larimer Street
Denver, CO 80202
Wasn't that weekend of the 21st the most perfectly beautiful 3 days of 2011? Denver, when she wants to, well, she can just blow your balls off can't she? And she did. So I thank her. I thank her for giving me one last weekend of glory before filling my backyard with snow. I thank her for reminding me how much I love her and for giving me the most perfect backdrop for a weekend of dining and drinking and drinking and dining with my super awesome best friends from Black Gold Country.
To recap in as few words as
possible. That weekend was perfection, and I took my SABFs to all my favorite
places, Z Cuisine, Snooze and Lou's Food Bar. I should review Snooze sometime -
but everyone loves it so there is really no need. Here is a short version. I
LOVE IT but there is always a 2 hour wait, unless you arrive at 8:30am and it
is rare that I find people willing to dine at such an early hour, because the
world sleeps. I guess the world does not lie awake each night, trembling in
silent anticipation of the next sunrise, knowing that once mother nature shines
her warm and comforting sunlight, well that means that goddamn murdering
granny/clown/baby disappears again. Yes, I am obsessed with American Horror
Story. I cannot stop thinking about it (partly because that Dylan McDermott put
the FIT in 50!. Dear Mr. McDermott,
your sobbing while masturbating on camera has given you street cred of which I
did not know you deserved, although you are and forever will be my Jackson). And
I cannot start thinking about it. Like year-round school it is a never ending cycle of fear and satisfaction that can never be broken. And thus, I am forever
fearful, that the clown baby granny ghost that must also live in my
house, has plans to fly from the corners of my basement and eat me with its sharp clown
teeth while I do laundry at night. So I
am forced, as any rational being would be, to launder during the hours of
natural light. Thanks George W. for pushing back Daylight Savings you asshole! There
are only like 4 hours of natural light a day right now so THANKS dick. Anyone who denies
me, remember this – those gingered twins in the first episode ruined it for the
rest of us SO the rest of you can just run along into the abyss of happiness, you brunettes with your silky heads of hair and you
too you soft locks of golden sunshine the lord calls the blondes. Redheads beware!
Anyway, what was I talking about – Oh right,
Rioja.
It was quite glorious. Glorious in that way where you go somewhere thinking – yeah, this will be pretty good and then you sit down and you are all – what the fuck is Eric’s doughnut and then you bite into one of his nuts and you realize that simple pleasure of the fried bread ball can be quite elegant when coupled with some kind of strawberry business and Chantilly cream – which at first you are all – what kind of asshole has to say chantilly cream. But then you taste the cream with the strawberry and the doughnut and you thank Eric for being so pompous and thinking he has some divine right to snooty breakfastry because that cream is pretty fucking good and you don’t even like doughnuts, really you just like an excuse to order an appetizer with the first meal of the day. Then you cannot decide if the duck confit hash will give you what you want – so with a bit of hesitation you ask the waiter, which is better and he assures you that the duck confit is better and you think I know this can go horribly wrong because I have seen it happen, with those who think that bringing duck to breakfast is going to make them seem hip and fauxhemian and in it to win it but it makes you want to punch them but these guys at Rioja fucking win it when it comes to duck before noon because it was the best and yes, there was some kind of pickled beet number on top which I thought was so over the top with these fucking beets but it was the perfect addition to my fork. Duck, potatoes, eggs, beets, when did you decide to lambada on my fork as I shove you down my gullet? Do I like to moan at the table? No I don’t. In fact I hate it because it is an involuntary reaction and I do not like to lose control but I am lost in the eyes of you Rioja. I will let your duck make love to my tongue whenever it wants. I have no self control with you.
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